Holy Cow, Is This Stupid

I hope, with all my heart, that this is like the tales of the rainbow parties where kids give blowjobs in such a way as to leave rings of different kinds of lipstick on a dude’s penis (which, really, should have been a tip that this was not really happening since “I am going to briefly place my lips on your penis in order to leave this gob of colored wax” has got to be one of the least satisfying blowjobs in the history of blowjobs, second only to “I’ll get very near it, okay?” Hard to see how that would actually catch on.) and it ends up just being mostly made up and then blown out of proportion by the media.

Because, if not, holy shit, the anti-vaccination crowd has just gone from “people I think are misguided and risking their children’s health” past “people I think are misguided and risking their children’s health and the health of children who can’t be vaccinated” straight into “Holy fuck, are you stupid or evil or both?!”

Sending contagions through the mail?! Okay, no harm no foul if the virus is dead before it gets to your kid. Except, what about the mail carrier who handles your envelope? What if she’s just come back from maternity leave? Or if your mail ends up at the wrong house? Or rubberbanded in a bundle next to your neighbor’s mail? What the fuck kind of selfish asshole risks the health of everybody between her and the mom who’s sending the virus because she doesn’t trust the government?! How does that not make you some kind of bush-league terrorist? “I send contagion through the mail because I hate the government.” That’s their reasoning.

And let us pause to think about the level of complete and utter idiocy passed off under the guise of “doing what’s best for my children” of putting something in your kid’s mouth you know is going to make them sick that you don’t actually know the sender of. I mean, just dwell on every step of stupidity–you take candy from a stranger and give it to your kid. You give your kid something you know will make him or her sick, but you don’t actually know if the thing you’ve given your kid is the thing you think you’ve given your kid. What if you think you’re giving your kid a chicken-pox laden lollipop and it’s arsenic?  If you’re procuring contagions over the internet, you don’t even know that you know the truth about the person who’s sending you shit–whether the person you’re corresponding with is actually who she says she is, whether she actually has a sick kid, whether that sick kid has actually licked said lollipop. All you know about them is that they’re willing to break federal laws.

And you trust them over doctors with your kid’s well being?

And this is supposed to be safer and more natural than the chicken pox vaccine?!

These parents are very, very lucky no one’s ended up dead, yet.

10 thoughts on “Holy Cow, Is This Stupid

  1. Haven’t you heard of chickenpox parties? Those have been in the news for years.

    That said, I’ve seen the chickenpox lollipop story all over the place and suspect it’s probably more urban legend than reality.

  2. …oh and p.s., let’s also reflect on the utterly irresponsible media which spreads this stuff:


    “A Nashville TV station Thursday reported on a local woman who charged $50 a pop to ship suckers smothered in saliva by her sick kids.

    Spurred by that story, Nashville federal prosecutor Jerry Martin on Friday warned parents not to try it. “It’s illegal and unsafe,” Martin told the Associated Press.”

    Someone “may” have offered to do something which people “may” have thought was a good idea and suddenly we have another piece of fearporn ricocheting around the media. Jesus.

    SNL did a pretty funny spoof of all the media fearmongering targeted at concerned parents.

  3. I really hope this is a hoax. And it does seem incredibly irresponsible to report on it and give people the idea to do it.

    I’m glad Martin pointed out that it’s illegal and stupid.

  4. I have a high school friend who is a quivverful parent/homeschool mother. She has been making arrangements with friends on facebook to bring food (cookies or brownies or something) that her kids with the flu cooked so that they could get the flu without using the vaccine.

    I don’t know if you saw the blog I wrote about “ZOMFG! There are dead babies in diet pepsi!” where a Certain Segment Of Our Culture was wigging out over what turned out to be stem-cell research on artificial sweetener. Well, now that a bunch of us idiots pointed out to those idiots that the same Ded Babeez are used in the manufacture of vaccines (i.e. stem-cell research is used to create better binding-solutions for the virii) they now are doing this instead of vaccines. But as far as I know there is no shipping of the cookies/brownies. It’s just “I’ll bring you a plate at church tomorrow.”

    I should also add that this is one of the main reasons I can no longer physically attend church. All the mothers who bring their sick kids to Sunday School to “auto-innoculate” the other Precious Sunbeams. Problem is that the sick kids don’t go from a their car to Sunday School in a plastic bubble. So those of us who are immunosuppressed literally take our lives into our own hands to ATTEND SUNDAY SERVICES.

    Sometimes some parents make me stabby.

  5. Oh, Coble, I shouldn’t laugh, but I have to tell you, I kind of did upon reading your comment. This seems to me to be the terrible tragic farce of humanity–that in doing what you KNOW is right, you are almost always guaranteed to be doing something stupid and harmful to innocent bystanders.

    It seems to me that, if you’re not uncertain, you’re either not being honest with yourself or you haven’t thought things through enough.

    And yet, here we are, so many people utterly convinced that they are doing the right thing and that right thing causes at least as much harm as it does good.

    I mean, how do they think, in the great cosmic balance, putting your kid in grave danger of death weighs against using stem cells? If killing a child is wrong, how is it somehow less wrong because you meant well? I’m sure the people who signed the paperwork to hand over their embryo to science meant well and hoped it would lead to scientific advances. So, what I mean is, eve by their own standards, as I understand them, they seem to be risking the same thing they think was a grave wrong. I don’t understand how they square that circle.

  6. I know–it’s a lot of cognitive dissonance. Especially when you throw in (as I did, to my peril) the idea that if we can make heroes out of soldiers–which I think is fine–why can’t we accept that this embryo’s sacrifice was also heroic?

    Seriously people. It was ONE fetus. 40 years ago. Even me over here on the more “fewer abortions is better” side doesn’t think that is so awful. How do I say such a thing without sounding callous? I don’t know. I just–I mean, come on. Cancer treatments that work, millions of lives saved. How is that not a win?

    But instead you’ll stand on principle and selfishly risk the lives of your children, other people’s children and a goblot of really old people (seriously, it’s a Baptist church.) Any way you look at it, it’s selfish. It says “my ideals are worth more than your life.”

    I can’t call that line of living Pro-life.
    Oh, and I laughed while writing the comment so no worries. Preposterousness is funny.

  7. I can see the logic here in what these parents are doing, and based on the averages I’m going to give some of them credit for knowing exactly the risks that both you ladies are talking about, B. and Coble. My point has to do with your reference to soldiers, Coble. Consider how much we praise, idolize, and fetishize soldiers in our country. I was watching college football yesterday, so I know of what I speak (even though such fetishization isn’t limited to football broadcasts). Anyway, we heap all this solemn praise on our fighting men and women, even though we know– we know— that they are all part of an imperial machine that kills, maims, and brings suffering to countless thousands of babies and children. The most common rationalization I hear for this, albeit it’s the most crude and unadorned rationalization, is that our soldiers have a duty to ‘kill ’em all and let God sort ’em out.’ I don’t see this as being any different from the parents who bring sick kids to church to infect healthy kids so that they’ll all get immunized in God’s way. So a few elderly and immunodepressed people are put at risk. So what? Let God sort ’em out. If my kids lives and you or your kids suffer or die, that’s God’s will, so fuck you. (Or ‘bless your heart.’ Take your regional pick.)

    So I agree with Lizbet that this is a product of shortsightedness, but I submit that it’s willful shortsightedness. It’s human nature shining through the prism of U.S. culture.

  8. Never doubt the stupidity of those who turn to big titted blond “pseudo-stars” for their medical advice.

    I would say, “Screw them and their kids and let Darwin sort it out,” but my child must live in their unvaccinated world. I would hate to be forced to have the Facts of Death talk with a kindergartener.

  9. On an interesting side note, not only do I kind of wonder if Jenny McCarthy has any regrets about this madness, I wonder if she could apologize if she did or if she would be opening herself up to huge liability.

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