It’s Not an Orgy, It’s an Episode of The Conservative Soap Opera

Previous seasons of The Conservative Soap Opera have included storylines “Fucking Roger Abramson, How Does He Work?” (Sadly, we couldn’t talk to no scientists, because they motherfuckers lying and getting us pissed.) and “The Gal Who Helped Me Fuck My Wife Over Seems to Have Helped Her Boyfriend Fuck Me Over. How Could This Have Possibly Happened? Oh, Right, Because I’m a Creepster.” (This storyline, obviously, is ongoing.)

And now, it’s obvious that Occupy Nashville is another storyline in The Conservative Soap Opera. You have to groups of rich folks–one group is really, really rich and they all talk like Nebraskans and are loosely affiliated with the oil industry and then there’s their arch enemies, the less rich, but still very rich “populists” mostly from East Tennessee who didn’t go to fancy-pants colleges and who love the coal industry. Not that the oil industry or the coal industry have any particular thing to do with this storyline. Yet. Who knows? Maybe the rich populists will start driving coal-fired steam-engine cars between their homes and Nashville in order to stick it to the “Elites” and the EPA. Oh, man. That would be marvelous. Please, let there be coal-fired steam-engine cars at the end of this.

Anyway, I was wondering why Ramsey didn’t come out in support of the protesters in order to stick it to Haslam. But I should have guessed that he’d be waiting for this moment, when the governor decided to drop all charges against the protesters and the media. Now that Haslam seems to have gone soft on the liberals, here’s Ramsey with his “I think they ought to be removed. I do. I’ll bet you that if I took a Boy Scout troop up there and camped out over the weekend, they wouldn’t allow them to do it. That’s just my opinion. I think they’ve gone way too far.”

Bwah-ha-ha-ha-ha. Really, Fake Governor? Now you’re speaking out?! No, no, it gets better. He also says

“The allegations that have been there that have gone on, with sexual misconduct, things of that nature, there is a limit to this, and I do think this is a public place, and everybody has their First Amendment rights, but I think they’ve overstepped their bounds, I do,” Ramsey said of the protesters.

And there it is. The “sexual misconduct” that Ramsey’s buddy Mumpower heard from a legislative assistant who, for some reason, didn’t report it to her legislator.

So, yes, it’s a two-pronged approach. Both gangs of conservatives are happy to pick on liberals, until they get their asses handed to them by the courts (and notice that Ramsey says nothing about the fact that Haslam’s hand has been forced by the courts. In Ramsey’s world, I guess the Governor can just defy whatever court orders suit him and toss journalists in jail with impunity.) but the rich populists are more than happy to try to make it seem like Haslam is just standing by while people are writhing around naked on the War Memorial Plaza like something out of Sodom and Gomorrah before God got pissed.

Never mind that there’s not one single picture of this “orgy,” not one single witness who has come forward without his or her words being filtered through the rich populist camp. In other words, so far all we have is the rich populist camp saying “I heard someone saw an orgy,” waiting a few minutes and then saying, “Oh my god, even more people are saying someone saw an orgy.” Um, yes, you are those more people. And you are the first witnesses. Conveniently.

See, pictures would discredit Occupy Nashville.

Rumors and innuendo discredit Haslam. So, that’s why the rich populists are going with rumors and innuendo in the absence of pictures.

It’s not about Occupy Nashville, it’s about the soap opera.

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6 thoughts on “It’s Not an Orgy, It’s an Episode of The Conservative Soap Opera

  1. Pingback: Losing Control Of The Message « Newscoma

  2. Well yes but also, this is something of a pattern with Ron Ramsey. He seems to have a lot of secret knowledge about stuff which “people” tell him or “someone” saw, but none of these people or someones ever materialize. He does this repeatedly.

    You know, like how last week he claimed that his “TNRedtape” website is getting all of these complaints from people about onerous environmental regulations and taxes ruining their businesses. But none of these people will let Ramsey use their names because they’re afraid of “repercussions.”

    So we’ll just have to take Ramsey’s word for it I guess! Okie dokie! Guess “someone” saw that orgy (even though none is mentioned in any THP e-mails the Scene collected). We can’t say who cuz … repercussions!!!!

    You know, Ron Ramsey needs to get a clue on this secret knowledge stuff. You can only get away with that so many times before people start to doubt your credibility.

  3. OK, I had to consult my Official Aunt B. Decoder. It is all clear to me now, though I must confess that I had not known about the Insane Clown Posse’s “coming-out” thingy.

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