In a fit of pique, I cut my hair off. It was a mess. I can’t let it get that long again without making sure I’m going in for regular trims. The gal tried to talk me out of it until she tried to get a comb through it and then she was like “Oh, yes, I see. That does have to come off.” I was like “Right? I brushed it this morning and this is how it treats me after we’ve just sat in an office all day. It’s not like I work in a wind tunnel.” I think she was relieved to just be able to comb down to a tangle and then cut it off.

I also respected that, once she saw what had to be done, she just did it, without complaining about my hair or trying to talk me into getting it permed so that all my curls are the same. I don’t know if they’re doing a better job of teaching all beauticians to cut naturally curly hair or what, but she didn’t flinch or freak out at all to see it and she did a great job with it.

I had dinner with a couple of friends and got home to find roses in bloom in the back yard and dog poop in the kitchen. Mrs. W. is at the age where, when she poops in the house, I feel like I have failed her. She always poops right by the back door, as if to say, “I got as close to the outside as I could.” And I must say, a dog that poops on linoleum and not on the hardwood is a keeper. I just need to remember that, at her age, she’s a keeper who can’t always hold it as long as she used to.

The roses, though, if you ignore the black spots and that someone is eating them, look gorgeous. I don’t know why. I wish I did so that I could do it every year. And the irises are slowly starting to bloom. Everyone else’s irises look great and mine have just been so slow.

Plus, a friend offered to trade me peony roots for strawberries!

And yes, at this point, I am babbling just to have enough room for my second rose picture.

But I do kind of feel about roses how ICP feels about magnets. Fucking roses, how do they work? When I finally get a yard physicist, after “Why do you need twice as much dirt to fill a hole as you took out of it in the first place?” my next question will be “Fucking roses, how do they work?”

I’m glad the people who built this house planted roses, because I always thought they were difficult and had to be trimmed way back and protected in the winter and all this stuff, but these roses I just kind of neglect them and they do this kind of shit.

Oh, also, I forgot to tell you the most exciting thing. TDOT resurfaced the road out front and now it is so smooth I kind of wish I could have a parade on it. If you were ever in marching band, you know what I mean, when the road is flat and clean and wide and you think “By god, I will play these marching band versions of songs that were popular when my band director was young from here until eternity and I will love it!!!!!” (That’s one thing I always appreciated about JR’s dad. He would let us play contemporary stuff, even if you could tell he thought it was stupid.)

Anyway, I wish TDOT had had some kind of official grand opening of the new road and I would have rolled down it. I mean, you know, after I tried to march and fell.

But instead they just quickly and efficiently resurfaced it. So, there was no time for walking on it.


11 thoughts on “Roses

  1. You did what?

    Also, you brushed your hair? There’s your problem. Curly hair needs a wide-tooth comb (like this), never a brush. All a brush will do is tease it up and help the ends split. Get yourself a wide-tooth comb (not a pick), and you won’t have trouble with curls at whatever hair length you choose.

  2. But I do kind of feel about roses how ICP feels about magnets.

    That made me laugh out loud, in bed. What will the neighbors think!?
    You need to have that etched in stone to put in the garden beneath the roses. You could even continue the theme with Juggalo scarecrows to keep the birds out of your strawberries.

    I sense a theme forming.

    p.s. your hair looks amazing – the length is perfect to give your curls that extra bounce. As a natural curl owner, I feel your pain – it IS hard to find someone to properly cut hair like ours. Hold onto the hairdresser you have – she’s magic.

  3. NM, I have always brushed my hair, in the shower, when I condition. It’s how I make sure the conditioner gets all the way through, because it’s so thick. Otherwise, even with a comb, I get knots underneath because the conditioner never gets there.

  4. I might know the answer to your hole/dirt question because I’m always wondering why I have so much extra dirt after digging and filling holes. Obviously it ends up with me for some reason. Don’t ask me how or why.

    And enjoy the smooth road while you have it, because I’ll bet that within 2 months some utility company will need to dig it up. At least that’s how it works in Texas.

  5. I vote for the Juggalo scarecrows.

    I also love that you used “fit of pique” correctly and spelled it correctly. Not that I’m surprised that YOU specifically did, but any time I see a moderately challenging word/phrase used on the internet I cringe, waiting for the malaprop or major non-typo mangling. I mean, someone in NPR comments (I think) said “Gazundite!” to someone who sneezed. As a former English major, I am losing the will to live.

  6. The worst part is how seeing something repeatedly used wrong corrupts you. I used to be a person who used “affect” and “effect” with such ease that I even felt confident using them in even the most complicated situations.

    But seeing them used wrong so often has now caused me to have to pause every time I see one or write one and puzzle out whether I’m using the correct one.

    I shake my fist about that.

  7. B, have you tried putting conditioner directly on the hairline at the back of your head and working it through with your fingers? That’s what I do.

  8. Yes to the effect/affect issue!! I’ve become insecure and nervous about that one, and I certainly never was before. Maybe there’s something specific to that misusage that makes it contagious? I hope to goodness the loose/lose issue never starts to stick with me, because I’ll be looking for a loose plastic bag in which I can lose my head.

    nm, at least you’ll always have schadenfreude (which I’m purposely not looking up, so you can enjoy some at my expense if I mangle it).

  9. I wonder if it would be all right if I just started spelling it aeffect and using that word in place of the other two.

    Honestly, that’s why I spell it aesthetic, because I’m just not sure if there’s a subtle difference between esthetic and asthetic.

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