Well, I Like It

I’m having fun with this draft, I must say. I’m liking it a lot. But, like I told the Professor yesterday, I am having  a hard time trusting my judgement. After all, I really like Flock and can’t get anyone to pay me for the privilege of agreeing with me that it’s good.

You know when you don’t want to feel like you can’t trust your judgement? When you’re revising.

I was also telling the Professor how I came to be at the top of a bunch of stairs that, under normal circumstances, I would not be able to get down. They don’t have a railing and they slope downhill. And yet, I had my purse with me and my purse, if I hold it by the handle and bend over just a smidge, rests on the ground. Putting my purse on the ground gave me a sense of balance I don’t normally have under these circumstances, and I got down the steps no problem.

I even tried it again to make sure.

And this is like the flip side of how I experience being in my body when I’m having a panic attack. Under those circumstances, I feel like my body just will not do what my brain knows I can do. I really do experience it as if I have an animal self and a conscious self which are, under almost all circumstances, so closely aligned that I mistake them for being the same thing. But, under some circumstances, over which I have little choice, the animal and me become somewhat uncoupled, each acting autonomously and, since the animal is the body, my mind doesn’t really have any control over it.

But here I am at the steps, a known circumstance for decoupling. And yet, setting my purse on the ground prevents that. Even though my brain the whole time is “This is so stupid! The handle is slack! It’s vinyl for gods’ sake. It’s not, somehow, holding you up! Why don’t we just call the Professor right now and have her come get us before we fall down the steps?” and my body is already down the steps.

I know there’s no such thing as multiple personalities. But I have to tell you, I don’t think our personalities are as singular as we like to pretend, either.


1. The Library just needs to subscribe to John Scalzi’s blog and buy everything he features there, because I was all “Oh, I’m going to reserve this before I tell anyone about it!” and the NPL doesn’t have it. Grr. But come on! Menopausal werewolf women? I want to read this yesterday!

2. A school over in Charlotte is infested with bats, who bit a teacher, who is now, weirdly, sparkling. Please note the lengths to which they go to keep from having to say “poop, bat poop.”

3. Oxford University is going Yeti hunting.

4. “The werefox interpretation of the ballad is not traditional.”

5. It’s hard for me to express how much I love my birthday present. Every time I look at them, I smile. I was thinking that, if I ever do sell the Sue Allen thing, I am going to celebrate by commissioning the Bell Witch in her hare-headed dog aspect, the Wampus Cat, and The Thing. How awesome would that be?


1. The Scene has a really cool cover story this week, which I felt skirted a little too close to my territory, but I’m just being possessive.

2. W. has a couple of posts about Civil War Tennessee which I enjoyed about parts of the state that wanted to secede in either direction–Union and Confederate.

3. Governor Baby is going to campaign for his Republican friends. I am dying to see whether he actually has coat-tails anyone can ride. In my opinion, if Governor Baby can actually help people get elected, then you know the poll that showed Obama beating Romney in Tennessee isn’t completely full of shit and that the state may indeed be more moderate than given credit for (though Obama is simply not going to beat Romney here. That part is wrong no matter what.). But if Governor Baby’s endorsement means nothing, then you have evidence that the Republican party is much more conservative than Governor Baby can fake being.

In that case, it will be interesting to watch to see if Governor Baby accepts his positioning as a moderate and works that side of the street more heavily to try to drum up enough Democratic support to get reelected.