Someone Should Make a Movie about Joseph Durard/Durat/Derogue/Derock/etc.

Oh, people, you have to check this shit out. But here’s the long story short. So, our friend (and Timothy Demonbreun’s!), Joseph Deraque had been living in Nashville for about six months when he got a job rowing Mr. Fagot to New Orleans. While in New Orleans, Fagot tells the Spanish governor that the United States is getting ready to attack Spain. The governor’s all “WTF, Joe?” and Joe’s all “I didn’t hear them say anything about it, but I don’t want to impugn Fagot’s honor, because his descendants will go on to have enormous influence with the Juggaloes, a group that terrifies me, even though I will be long dead before they exist.”

So the Spanish governor’s all “You and Finnelson go tell all the Indians that Spain will arm them if they fight the assholes at Nashville.”

Joe’s all “Okay.” But Joe’s really trying to suss out whether the Indians will attack Nashville just because Spain wants them to and, yes, for the most part they will. But they’re going to lie to Governor Blount about it. So Joe and Finnelson totally narc them out and then go back to New Orleans where Fagot can’t pay them because he hasn’t sold his goods, even though he promised them a butt-ton of money.

And then the Indians do attack. But why did Fagot try to start a war between Spain and the U.S.? Governor Blount’s all “Tim says maybe he’s trying to get in good with the governor because he owes so much money to Spanish interests that, if he doesn’t sell some folks out, he’s getting arrested.” And thus people die.

And what did they find among the dead Indians at Buchanan’s station? “A fine Spanish blade.”

Nice going Fagot. Nice going, Spain. I will no longer eat delicious Spanish food while drinking Red Pop. You just ruined that for me.

The End.


2 thoughts on “Someone Should Make a Movie about Joseph Durard/Durat/Derogue/Derock/etc.

  1. 1) nothing should stop anyone from eating delicious Spanish food
    2) what was Elizabeth Bennett doing while all of this was going on?
    3) why, with all the Jane Austen mash-ups being written, has no one thought of writing Pride and Prejudice and Pioneering, all about what the second Miss Bennett got up to while waiting around for Mr. Darcy to improve himself?

  2. 1.) That’s why I left myself the out of never eating it with Red Pop, since I haven’t had a Faygo Red Pop in years. Loophole!

    2.) This was about the time she was making the switch in men. Her youngest child with Demonbreun, Polly, was born in 1792, and her first son, Joseph, with Joseph was born in 1793. I have heard that she was at the Battle of Buchanan’s Station, but I’ve seen nothing in the record to confirm this.

    I’d love to have a better sense of how many French people were actually in the area. Demonbreun was, obviously. He seems to have known Fagot well enough to make a good guess as to why he’d sell the settlers out to the Spanish. And Deraque was in the area, living with the Indians but also known to Demonbreun.

    We kind of tell the story like the the Robertson/Donelson party got here and discovered only Tim and possibly Elizabeth. But I think it’s more likely that there was a light smattering of all kinds of French folks either coming down here to trade or, like Demonbreun, living here on and off for part of the year, or like Deraque, living with the Indians pretty much permanently. Bridgett’s book does an excellent job of explaining how the French and Indians lived in proximity to each other, so it will be a great starting point for whomever gets around to looking specifically at how they lived in proximity to each other here.

    I mean, shoot, I’d still love to know where Elizabeth came from. Was she already here? Did she come with that first group of U.S. settlers? A slightly later group? Was she Native American? Lots of questions there, no good answers.

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