Fagot is the Villain, It Turns Out

I already made the Juggalos joke about his name, but in case you didn’t believe me that it’s pronounced Faygo, believe Andrew Jackson, who misspells it Fargo.

Okay, so Fagot was a merchant out of St. Louis and he’s apparently, from what I can tell, pretty much got the trade set up between St. Louis and New Orleans. But then the French give that territory to the Spanish and things seem to not have really gelled for Fagot and the Spaniards. Meanwhile, the U.S.ians are pushing into Indian territory from the east. Fagot decides that he’s going to be the guy who runs the “bringing things from Nashville to New Orleans” trade, so he’s got to reestablish good ties with the Spanish, convince the U.S.ians he’s the man, and somehow appease the Indians who seem to not be as fond of the Spanish as they were of the French.

So, he goes to Jackson and Jackson hears him out and writes a letter of introduction to someone else, whose name I’ve forgotten, which is a shame because he’s kind of important. Dude I forgot is all “Okay, fine, we’ll help protect you from the Indians if you can help us get our goods to New Orleans.”

But then Fagot goes back to the Spanish and is all “You guys totally need me because the U.S.ians along the Cumberland totally want to ditch the U.S. and come be a part of Spain. And only I can set that up.”

So, Spain writes a letter to dude whose name I forget: “Dear Nashville, I heard from Fagot that you kind of dug me and you know, I kind of dig you. You want to come snuggle with me?” And Nashville’s all like “What? No, dude, Spain, I totally only like you as a friend. I don’t know why Fagot gave you that idea. What a dick.”

Spain is, of course, “yeah, what a total dick.” But you know, in the back of Spain’s mind, Spain is all “What a fucking psycho Nashville is. Playing all ‘oh I love you’ and then ‘oh, wait, I don’t.'”

That’s in the late 1780s. I forget the exact date.

But then we come to 1792 and Fagot is in some financial trouble with Spain and Spain still thinks he’s kind of a dick and, obviously, Nashville thinks he’s kind of a dick. In fact, that may be why he had to hire Deraque and send him to Nashville, but that’s just speculation on my part. But now Fagot’s got a new story for Spain all about how Nashville is going to attack the parts of Spain along the Mississippi from it in order to control that part of the river.

And Spain is like “You’re a dick, but, yeah, Nashville is psycho so let me get my buddies who also hate Nashville to take Nashville out–and not in the fun way.”

Let’s all give the stink-eye to Fagot.


Is It Too Late to Change the New Kitty’s Name?

She is COVERED in brambles. I think she likes it because the second you get them all out of her fur, she comes back in with literally one gagillion more. No, it’s true, I had to call mathematicians and everything to ask what came after nine-hundred and ninety-nine zazillion as I was counting. So, I’m thinking perhaps Pumpkin was wishful thinking. She’s never come in, not even once, with a pumpkin in her fur.

So, I’m thinking of changing her name to Bramble Ann, which would allow me, with slight modification, to make this her themesong:

My cousin A. was completely taken with the new kitty. “What is she? She’s some kind of wild cat, isn’t she? Look at how big her paws are!” But I remain convinced that she’s a Maine Coon who lacked something vital–like, say, food–at a moment in her life when she could have grown up to be a big cat and now she’s just her size.

But I tell you, this morning, even with Miss Brambly Pants all full of brambles like they’re decorations and her getting all bent out of shape as I tried to pull them out, when she put her forehead against mine, I felt like the world is full of sweet and mysterious things, some of which, even, I don’t miss out on.

Derague, Deraque, Duratt, etc. Research

I think, now that I have a couple of good spellings for Joseph Deraque’s last name, that I’m going to re-hit-up the archives for information on him. I tell you, that New Orleans/Lafitte piece really has me thinking that we need that kind of knowledge about Deraque and Finnalson and Nashville.

I admit, I’m a little daunted about trying to find out more about Finnelson (Finalson? As in “the last one I had”?) because I kind of have no idea how to go about doing good research on the Cherokee. I know, in his deposition, he said he was from the Bird tribe, but I don’t really even know what that means, either.

But I want to know what there is to know. And I think starting out in the archives is starting down a path.