The New Kitty Will Look into Your Soul and then Eat You

I was trying to get a picture of the new kitty draped across the back of the couch like some weird bear-skin rug, two legs on each side of the back of the couch, her tail stretched along the top. It’s so adorable that, if captured on camera, it would cause the viewer to literally die of cuteness. Which, um, I guess means I just admitted to trying to premeditatedly trying to kill my readers, which, in retrospect seems like a bad strategy for a blogger.

Shit, well, no wonder bloggers get no respect.

Anyway, I was attempting to take this adorable photo when the new kitty was all, “Oh, you should totally pet me.” And that was the end of that. I did manage to get this photo. Please note how her paws are in the “making biscuits” position. This is how you know she’s serious about wanting to eat whatever you are eating–she makes biscuits and stares into your soul, as if willing you to obey her every thought. Since I wasn’t eating anything, I can only assume this was an early salvo in her attempts to eat me.

I thought I was the only person in the house who noticed how unbelievably adorable the new kitty has been being lately. But then, yesterday, I got this text. (Please note, this text came from the other end of the couch upon which I was sitting.)

Also, warning: you will die.

Sleep Well

These past two nights have been the best sleep I’ve had in ages. I don’t know if it’s just the weather turning or luck or what, but man, I slept like it was for a medal.

And yesterday, I didn’t do shit. I bummed around with the Butcher all day. No clean bathroom, no clean kitchen. The living room is still empty.

It was nice.