One Last Thing about Eastwood

So, I read over at Talking Points Memo that, “Romney advisers so trusted Mr. Eastwood, 82, that unlike with other speakers, they said they did not conduct rehearsals or insist on a script or communicate guidelines for the style or format of his remarks.”

All I can think is that this is the most bizarre part of it. Eastwood is a libertarian, not in “Ayn Rand is my Bible” sense, but in the “I want to be left alone to do my thing and I want to leave you alone to do your thing, and if government can operate quietly in the background, without me having to notice, that’d be great.”

And the Republican convention had already had some issues with libertarians earlier in the week. So, you’d think it’d be fresh on their minds that there’s a curmudgeonly contingent who’s not all happiness about the state of the Party.

The fact that the Romney campaign could look at Clint Eastwood and say “‘Oh, he’s like us. He’ll do what’s best for us.” shows such bizarre thinking that it gravely concerns me. Part of politics is knowing who your friends are. Between this speech and Christie’s, I really wonder if Romney gets that.

In Which I Answer Your Vodka Soaked Tampon Questions

Due to the infamous post, I keep getting people arriving here searching for “What will happen if I put a vodka soaked tampon in my pussy?”

I would like to reiterate–if you are able to, at all, somehow get it in there, it will burn like a motherfucker. Worse than that, because it’s alcohol, it will feel cold and so you will clench up around it, which means that, though it burns like a motherfucker, it will be difficult to remove. And, because vodka has a much different viscosity than blood, when you stand up, you will find vodka either running down your legs or soaking the crotch of your pants, depending on how you’re dressed.

If you are worried about your parents smelling alcohol on your breath, believe me, that would be easier to mask than the smell of alcohol wafting off your whole crotchal region.

If you are dumb-ass enough to continue to want to try it, do yourself this favor first. Put some vodka on some toilet paper and then touch it to the mucous membrane down there. That‘s the feeling you’re going to get.