Wolf–Oh, Holy Cow

There’s a Person in Nashville I Want to Meet

Somewhere in Nashville is a person who has very similar tastes in literature to me. Every single time I read about a new book–like if a website announces, “We are the first to bring you news that this book exists, right this second!!!!” and I run to the library website to check it out, there is always a person ahead of me. Always.

Who is this person? Not only must he or she like the same kinds of things as me, he or she must read the same websites I do, learn about things a millisecond ahead of me.

I think that, if I ever do manage to be the first person to get a new book, I will feel a sense of triumph initially, but then I will worry about whether the person in town who reads slightly faster or types slightly more accurately than me is sick or dead.

Meanwhile, I wonder about that person and wish we could talk about the books we both like to read. Except that they just finished Jagannath and I have not yet started it.

In case you wanted to read about Theda Bara and contemplate boob snakes.

Things in the World

1. Oh, Army Corps of Engineers! Things like this are why everyone comes to roll their eyes at you eventually.

Seven months after Franklin’s dam on the Harpeth River was demolished, making the river free-flowing for the first time in 49 years, inspectors at the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers believe several new dams should be added along the river’s route.

Seven whole months of free-flowing water?! My god! Thank goodness you’re working out a way to put a stop to that!

2. You know people live differently than you when a scam like this would even work.

Over a seven-week period, Steven Goldmann is accused of having conned a local real estate company, a fashion designer, a vintage guitar shop, a limousine company, at least one hotel, a furniture store, an audiovisual company, a helicopter rental business and a Hooters waitress out of tens of thousands of dollars.

I’m not saying I couldn’t be scammed. A good con artist is a good con artist. I’m merely saying that I had no idea you could pay by check for all these things. My hardware store won’t accept a check and a helicopter rental business will?

3. As usual, Tennessee State legislators don’t want to get shot at their workplace at the same time they write laws to make it easier for you to get shot at yours. If more guns everywhere is the answer, why can’t people carry into the legislative plaza? Why do they get more security of the sort they deny the rest of us?