In Which I Confess about the Zigzag Afghan and Other Things

–It’s pretty boring. Making a zigzag afghan. I was going to make just a baby-sized one, but Christ. Even that is so dull. And you can’t quite not concentrate on it–or at least I can’t–so it can’t give your fingers something to do while you watch tv, because you have to pay attention to your count. But, obviously, it’s not complicated enough to keep my interest. The most fun I had was figuring out how to tell how many initial stitches you need if you don’t have a pattern.

–After all this time, I’m kind of afraid to get back to the Sue and Ben project. I’m afraid I’ll see that it sucks. I’m also afraid that, since I stole from it a little to make a couple of more conventional werewolf stories–“Allendale” and Project X–that it has implications for the Sue and Ben project. And I’m afraid to figure out what. And I feel like a baby for admitting that I’m afraid.

–Sometimes it just seems like a lot of work for something no one is ever going to read. I guess is what I’m saying.

–I’m going to work on a story or two, I guess. Just to be writing something.

–Bah, I’m actually not that down about it. Just have some nagging worries. Like that I suck.

–Or worse, that I’m good but just not good enough.