Hemlock Grove

1. I’m more excited for this show than it deserves. Even if it deserved a lot of excitement, I’m more excited than it deserves.

2. Yes, that’s Vampire Eric’s brother, glaring at a werewolf!

3. Which brings up an important question–Do Scandinavians possess werewolf-glaring skills that Americans lack? Is that why we have to import Scandinavians to glower at our werewolves? Is this a skill all Scandinavians have or just the Skarsgards? I’m 1/8th Swedish. Does that give me the ability to effectively side-eye 1/8th of a werewolf? And which 1/8th? Or are my dirty looks only 1/8th as effective as someone fresh from Scandinavian soil? Is this why there are no shows about werewolves set in Minnesota? How can we safely test this theory? Can we hire Joe Manganiello to stand in front of us and judge which one of our stoic looks of mild interest he finds the most disturbing?

3.5 How does that even go? A boy and his mom are sitting at the breakfast table and he’s all, “Well, I’m off to seek my fortune in America, being a werewolf-glarer. I’ll write as soon as I find work.” “You come from a long line of werewolf-glarers, son. Your uncle Ollie once stared down three werewolves at once. Your grandfather saved Stockholm from the Great Werewolf Infestation of ’68 by withering looks alone. Go, and make me proud.”

4. I could laugh about this all day. And Alyssa is going to let me write about it for Think Progress next week.

5. I never thought my “Scandinavia” category would get so much use. But here we are.

3 thoughts on “Hemlock Grove

  1. You should probably check out Papa Skarsgard’s work before you write the piece for Alyssa. Need to make sure you’ve done due diligence…

  2. I could not watch that all the way through. It lot me at the eyeballs. There are genres I just can’t grok.

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