The Butcher’s friend is coming to visit, which has put him in the mood to clean out the gutters, trim the bushes and, he claims, clean the house. Things like this make me wish the Butcher were more promiscuous. Sure, this friend gets clean gutters. Might there not be some woman out there who would finally get my garage cleaned up?

Oh. my. god. Do you think there’s someone out there, somewhere, who might make the Butcher trim the yard?!

If you have ever considered smooching the Butcher and have not, I hope you sleep well knowing you could be the reason my yard hasn’t been trimmed in two years.