Why I Love My Gyno

So, you know, when they shoot you full of drugs, even mildly, and then cut you open, even a little bit, they like to keep you talking so they can tell if you’re about to pass out or vomit or die or something.

So, I told her about how I had told her how I’d come to think of it as my witch’s tit, where Satan came to suckle.

And, I am not even shitting you, she said, “Well, obviously.”

Anyway, I’m feeling a little tired, but I can’t yet feel the stitches. So, I may regret not taking some kind of painkiller right when I got home, but so far so good, I don’t think I need it.

I’m supposed to not freak out if if bleeds or leaks today. So, I’m sitting on the couch on a towel. But that’s that.

And you were so worried.*



*Bonus points if you knew I was quoting Grover.


1. There’s something about joking about the possibility of needing a taint transplant that makes it easier to face the scalpel today.

2. Whoa, the fourth season of Buffy drags until “Hush” doesn’t it? It’s funny because we were joking that we weren’t sure we’d be able to stick it out if people didn’t stop sitting around talking about their feelings. And then comes “Hush.” It is a fantastic episode on its own, but in the context of Season 4, viewing Season 4 in big chunks, it’s also a much, much needed corrective to a season that, until then, really hadn’t found its way.

3. Crocheting this baby dress is motherfucking hard. I thought I had a pretty easy pattern, but I pulled the top out three times last night to redo it. I think I now have the right number of stitches to start this shell nonsense, again, but this time with the right number of base shells. And this is not to mention that there’s no way this dress is for a newborn. Granted, this is my practice run and I’m practice-running it on an I hook when it calls for an H, but let’s be real. An H isn’t so much smaller than an I that it’s going to take the dress from “I can walk and wear this dress my aunt made me” to “I can’t even get all my fingers to point the same direction at the same time, but look at this snazzy dress.”

Still, I’m hoping that doing it will give me a basic sense of baby dress construction and I can just whoop something smaller up, next.