Things

1. I have finished all the revisions on Project X. I cannot tell you how proud I am of it. It’s the best thing I’ve ever written. Nerdy, sexy, sad, creepy. Now I will somehow drag it kicking and screaming into fruition.

2. I finished my 20th story for October, though I’ll probably put it up on Halloween. It’s nicely creepy and involves a doll called “Bad Maddy.” Which just also makes me want to sing “Oh, Bad Maddy, ramalama.”

3. I read Wisp of a Thing by Alex Bledsoe. I really liked it, but once I thought to wonder whether the bad guy was loosely based on Jimmy Martin, that was the only voice I could hear for him. Rest your soul, Jimmy Martin, I’ve been called a motherfucker by no one better.

4. I have a story I’ve written that I think is really good that I haven’t been able to sell. And now I realize, I can’t sell it because it’s too much like Bledsoe’s Tufa novels, even though I started it before I read either of his books. Ha ha ha. Well, that sucks for that story. It has some witches in it. I might put it up in October. No, I know, one of you is tempted to say “No, they’re not that much alike.” But dude, my story contains the line “Easy enough to catch, impossible to fetch.” And his book contains a line like “Fit for catchin’, not for fetchin’.” Same damn ground. Covers the same damn ground.

5. Mrs. Wigglebottom and I did the whole loop at Cedar Hill Park today. Normally we just part at the playground and walk up the hill and back down. I figure this is about 2/3 of the distance, by the time we get back to the car. But today the weather was so beautiful and Mrs. W. had a spring in her step, so we just got to the top of the hill and kept walking, down into the flat sunny area by the tennis courts, up the hill by the duck pond, and back around. We went a little slower than I would have liked and a little faster than she would have liked.

But by the time we got back to the parking lot, she was dragging. I mean, just dragging. Like the walk was 100 yards too long. So, I said words of encouragement to her, as you do.

And this gorgeous guy in a Jeep with a VMI cover for the spare tire was putting on army boots and hoisting on a stuffed-full backpack. I thought he was young, but when he spoke, he had that kind of awesome deep man voice of, well, not someone IN VMI. He said, “Looks like you wore her out.” And I laughed and said, “She walked the whole loop, at her age!” “How old is she?” “Fourteen.” “Well, she should get the rest of the day off then.”

People, he had these beautiful biceps. And I know there’s no way for this to happen in real life without it creeping me out, but how come folks like that don’t want to pet me like a kitten? I mean, aside from the smell after walking that whole loop. Little old ladies, I’m going to need one or two of you to practice that kind of voice.

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