The Yellow Lab

It appears we will meet him, probably on Friday, and take him home with us if we hit it off. He is a “young adult.” Since his hobbies included sitting in laps and cuddling, I’m guessing he’s not yet full grown. On the other hand, my cousin A. has two chocolate labs and they are full grown and sit in her lap. So, we’ll see.

We don’t know about names yet. I’ve been arguing for Sonny Boy Williamson III. The Butcher is kind of leaning toward Grendel. But we’ll see when we meet him and what name the foster family gave him and what kind of dog he seems like.

I feel really happy and really sad. I miss having a dog so much. I feel like I’ve been running around with half my heart missing. And so I’m really excited to bring home another dog. But this also makes it really real. Sadie is really gone. She filled our house and then our house was empty of her and now it will be filled with a dog again, but it won’t be her. I didn’t know I’d feel so emotional about the end of an absence, but I do.

She was a good dog, such a good dog, and because she was, I want to do it again.

Wrapping Things Up

As I continue to flail away against the stupid funk, which has risen but not departed, I’m trying to get to a point where everything old is settled. It’s not going to completely happen, because, well, things carry over. But it’s coming pretty close.

The red afghan’s squares are almost done. I have ten more squares to do, and twenty two more triangles. Then end-tucking, then sewing together.

I have no new short stories out on submission. I have “Frank” out at some anthology, but “Frank” is published, so I’m just thinking of that as the cherry on an already delicious sundae. If it happens, great. If not, oh well. Everything else, though? I just needed a break from the constant expectation of rejection.

In related, but not as helpful news, I have no new stories in the works. Nothing about which I’ve even been mulling over. That’s not ideal, but it is what it is.

The Ben & Sue project is with a reader. Nothing I can do on it at the moment.

I’m trying to get “Sarah Clark” back from the press that bought it, since they seem to have stopped publishing. The contract gives me the story back at the end of December anyway, but I just wish I had some clarification in writing that they get that I’m taking it back. So far no response from them. But the limbo it’s in will be resolved by the end of the year, with or without their acknowledgement.

The obit I was working on is done.

I have rough drafts of the three encyclopedia entries and now I just need to get to the TSLA to double-check some things.

And the book club is this Friday and then I can be done with A City of Ghosts for the year.

That’s all the stuff winding down.

Project X shambles on in its own time. I’m supposed to see art by the end of the year, but it’s a hard time to have a deadline, so I imagine that’s going to leak into January. I really like this project and I really find the different creative pieces interesting. But the length of time it’s taking to happen is starting to wear on me. It’s hard for me to keep up the enthusiasm. This is, as you know, totally on me. The funk is not the project’s fault. I just could use a win, something I’m proud of out there in public. And Project X is the thing I have closest, so knowing that it’s still months off is just wearing on me a little bit. But I’m afraid I’ll just be waiting and waiting and then it won’t pan out and I won’t be able to find someone else who loves it as much as these folks do and who wants to see it through.

The kid’s story is moving along. We were supposed to meet in January to talk art, she thought we were going to be able to meet sooner, but work intervened and now we’re back to January. So, that seems on-track.

I think I want smaller goals for next year. This year, I kind of thought it was going to be my year, that I was going to write a bunch of good stuff and submit it and everyone would love it and it’d be so awesome. And I wrote a bunch of stuff I liked and only one thing got published. And, on the one hand, that was really awesome. On the other hand, it felt like an anomaly. Not really like someone had recognized my talent, but that I had fooled someone into not seeing what a hack I am.

Not a good spot to be in emotionally.

But I don’t know what I want to try for next year. Not yet, anyway.