Ready for the Final Touches

I have that chapter done. I have it dropped into the manuscript where I want it and now, my goal is to spend the weekend doing a read-through, polishing some spots nm pointed out, and making sure that the chapter fits in where I’ve put it and does what I want.

I have a couple of people lined up to take a last look at it. And then I think I’m ready to shop for an agent. I’m scared, I admit. But I’m hoping that spending 2013 being rejected from most places for most things will have given me the thick skin I need to do it.

In kind of related news, I read this post over at Sarah Monette’s blog. She’s an author I love*. And to hear that her career tanked scares the crap out of me. I know everyone’s path is their own, but I’m sitting here right now thinking, “Oh, when I get an agent…” like then it will be all Big Rock Candy Mountain. But it’s just getting in a door to a different room with different weird things going on.

I’m worried about Project X coming together. I don’t have any objective reason to worry, that I can tell. But it’s a lot of moving parts and it’s the first time the parties involved have done something like this and, well, there’s a lot that has to come together to make it work. It probably wasn’t the best strategy, psychologically, to get my part done so early, because then it’s just a lot of waiting around seeing if the other parts come together. But it only took me as long as it took me. There wasn’t a way for me to drag it out.

But I really want it to happen. And the more I want it to happen, the more I’m worried that it won’t. That, at the last minute, everything will fall apart. And then what? I have this cool thing that I’ll have to try to sell, I guess.

I don’t want to be rich from writing. I don’t even want to be able to support myself with my writing. I just want to go into Parnassus and Barnes & Noble here in town and see a book by me on the shelf.


*Check out the comments below. I like the stories of hers I’ve read, but I haven’t read enough of her to have caught the terrible crap Rachel warns against.


4 thoughts on “Ready for the Final Touches

  1. Ugh. Sarah Monette. I can only think of a few other authors who have as many issues with homosexuality as she does; only they get boycotted. At least I know her other pen name now so I can avoid that too, instead of having sexual abuse foisted on me by surprise.

  2. What?! No! Now I feel like a total doofus for having said I love her, when I’ve only ever read some short stories of hers (which i really liked).

  3. Well, let’s see. Felix Harrowgate, one of the two protagonists of her Mirador series, is a gay wizard. Fine. That’s cool.

    But he’s also an ex-prostitute (because, well, gay? I dunno…), raped, abused, literally driven mad, sent to a lunatic asylum, abused some more, and then finally has his brain actually shattered into a thousand little pieces.

    And that’s just in the first book.

    And I’m sure she could come up with some justifications for it that will help her sleep better at night for hand-waving away the fact that she basically writes like she hates gay people. I actually seriously regret that I paid money to read that book, because it means she (might have gotten) money for writing it.

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