When You Wake Up Wondering if There’s a Cactus in Bed With You

Last week, I awoke with a cut on my fingertip. This is odd because I sleep on a mattress and not on a bed of nails or with a sword dangling over me. My bed is, by definition, a soft, not cutting thing filled with soft, non-cutting things.

Oh, which reminds me! Not only did I have that cut, but then on Monday I burned that same finger, right on the cut, by touching too-hot lasagna. My finger is cursed!

Anyway, back to my story–the cut, not the burn. Where did this mysterious midnight cut come from?

The answer came last night. I woke up because my finger–a different finger–felt like it was being grasped by a cactus. Not hard, but it felt like ten tiny needles were holding it in place. I opened my eyes, as you do when you’re wondering if sentient cacti have crawled into bed with you and there was the orange cat, holding my finger with his claws, staring at it, like he was trying to decide if he could get away with biting it.

As best as the Butcher and I can figure, I must be twitching my hand in my sleep and, since the orange cat has taken to sleeping with me since the arrival of the dog, the cat has been having to resist the temptation to attack my hand for months now.

Last week, it apparently just got too much for him.