Go ahead and try

I don’t know why, but I was just reminded of this terrible joke from when I was in 4th or 5th grade. It’s really terrible, so just fair warning. It goes like this (though you can substitute in your friend’s names, if you want to):

One day, Jimmy’s dad gives him five dollars and tells him to go to the grocery store and buy some bologna. “Bring me back my bologna or I’ll beat your ass.” But, on the way to the store, Jimmy gets distracted and he ducks into the toy store and spends his money on matchbox cars instead. Shit, now he’s got no money and no bologna and, if he goes home without any bologna, his dad is going to beat his ass. So, out of desperation, Jimmy slices off some of his butt and takes it home to his father. Yum! His dad loves it. It’s the most delicious bologna ever. The next week, he gives Jimmy another warning about ass beatings and five more dollars and again, Jimmy blows it on fun stuff that is, most definitely, not bologna. And again, he faces the prospect of returning home without bologna and getting his ass beat. So, out comes the knife and off comes more of Jimmy’s butt. On and on this goes, week after week, until Jimmy blows through his weekly $5, looks in his pants, and realizes that he’s got no more butt left to hack off. He returns home empty-handed. “Boy,” Jimmy’s father says, “I told you to bring me back some bologna or I’d beat your ass. Now I’m going to beat your ass.”

“Go ahead and try.”

Keeping On Keeping On

The Butcher claims that the first day you can stand to walk the dog is five days out from when you finally feel like yourself again. I walked the dog today. Sadie wasn’t ever one to fret if you were sick or upset. But Sonnyboy is different in so many ways. So, I got up this morning and the Butcher was still in bed. Sonnyboy was wandering around the house and, when he saw me, he came up and sniffed me. Then he waited patiently for me to get dressed. He put his face harness on without trouble (though he did give me some great big hops to let me know that he was excited about getting to go for a walk) and then we slowly walked our walk. Then we came home and he curled up next to me on the couch.

He wasn’t fretting over me, but he was definitely gentler than usual