Some Thoughts on Writing

–Thought Joe Hill’s NOS4A2, Adam Ross’s Mr. Peanut, and Lauren Oliver’s Rooms could not be more different in all other respects, they all have weird issues with their fat characters, and assuming that “fat” is some kind of shorthand for “in need of betterment.” It’s weird because most people in our country are fat. And regardless of your opinions about it as a health issue, how could you be a person in this country and interact with people in this country, again the majority of whom are fat, and still be under the impression that being fat is some kind of moral condition a writer can give insight into? It’s just weird. It doesn’t even piss me off so much as befuddle me. I have a lot of friends of all shapes and sizes and I truly don’t perceive the thinner ones passing any kind of judgement about my morality based on my fat. But it makes me wonder if there are great swaths of non-fat people who somehow have separated themselves off from fat people and really don’t know or understand what our lives might be like, especially if we don’t perceive of ourselves as being morally deficient.

–I am trying to join the SFWA. I feel like I need something to happen with my writing and I am at a loss as to what that is. This seems like something I can do. So, hopefully, they’ll accept my application. I’m also going to commit this year to trying to sell two more stories to the markets you have to sell to in order to become a full member, instead of just floundering away at Duotrope going all “Oh, this looks interesting. These are some cool stories. I’ll send here. Oh, they don’t pay? Well, but I like the work they’re doing and I like being published.”

–I was talking to Elias last night (not just about how much the Mandela effect website freaked me out because I am too prone to those kinds of thoughts in the first place, but we did talk about that) and I referred to Project X as “that stupid werewolf book.” He laughed at me–which, you know, it’s important to know people who will laugh at you when you need it. But here’s the thing I have learned about this process. I can’t sustain enthusiasm for anything indefinitely. I need to feel like things are happening and that I have some ideas what I need to do next and I need to feel like there’s some known, recognizable end.

–I can apply to the SFWA for an associate membership because of “Frank.” Okay, but here’s the thing. Apex published “Frank” in 2011. Like, seriously, what have I accomplished since then? I’ve been doing things. It’s not like I wrote “Frank” and then was like “Yep, that’s as good as it gets. I’ll just do like Norman Greenbaum and do whatever the fuck Norman Greenbaum did with his life and coast on my one awesome thing.” I’ve been working. I’ve written some things that I just love the shit out of. That I’m proud of. But I guess I’m still Norman Greenbauming it up.

–While I was writing this, I got an email from the SFWA and I’m in! So, Goal 1 of the new year accomplished.

–I have to try to find an agent for the Ben & Sue project. I’ve just been disheartened a long time about it. I still really love it, though.

–“Norman Greenbauming it up” appears to include growing an awesome mustache and making a trippy music video, so at least that part will be fun.

Twenty-five

This morning I walked the dog and I kept thinking, “I need to pull my phone out and see how cold this is so that I can make a vow to never walk when it’s this cold again. This is officially too cold to walk the dog.” But it was too cold to pull my hands out and mess with my phone. By the time I got back to the house, it was 25 degrees. So, at the least, I guess I can say that too cold is below that somewhere, not very far.

Of course, the problem is this: if you decide that’s too cold, instead of the dog deciding, will the dog poop on the floor in retribution?

And he was running around like it was the best morning ever. I think we even played a game, which, if you’ve been reading a while, you know is almost as remarkable as the day he learned to run. But I do think we were playing a game. He ran way off ahead of me in a big arc and then stopped in front of me, but a way off. Then he kind of got down in a play pose and waited. When I got near to him, he took off in a big arc again. This was, apparently, the best game ever.

And the moon was so big and low that I mistook it for a streetlight.

It’s too cold, but who wants to miss out on stuff like that?