My story about Andrew Jackson’s parrot is now called “Sweet Pauline the Pirate Queen, Governor of Tennessee.” It’s about how Andrew Jackson’s parrot briefly was elected governor of Tennessee. And how she’s really Pauline Lafitte, the pirate sister of Jean and Pierre.
The only part I’m stuck on is how one would say “Sweet Pauline” in French.
Well, not the only part. The only two people who would come to her inaugural ball were Mrs. Polk and Mrs. Acklen. So, that’s kind of a bummer. And she had to murder the assassins the other Governor of Tennessee sent after her. Also kind of a bummer. But her eggs know the answers to all questions, so that’s nice.
Tiny Cat Pants 
And before you’re like “Isn’t that a really long time for a parrot to live–from Jean Lafitte’s heyday to the Civil War?” The parrot is cursed. It can’t die until it forgets French. Because of course.
a) that’s awesome
b) chère Pauline, Pauline douce
c) parrots (big ones, anyway) can live 70 or 80 years, so I’m not seeing the problem
Your brain is a wondrous place indeed, madam.
:)