People Food

The dog went to the vet on Saturday. He behaved exactly how you would expect him to. He barked at everyone when I left him in the car so that I could get the paperwork sorted. He honked the horn at me. Oh, he was tickled and surprised to pull that off. Then, he peed on the vet’s floor. He acted like a complete wild nincompoop. They had to lift him up so his back legs were off the ground to keep him from squirming away while they vaccinated him. He sniffed some other dog’s junk and tried to lick it. Perhaps even succeeded.

And then he took a huge dump right outside the vet’s door.

And he’s on a diet–2-3 cups of food a day (two in the morning and, if there’s none in the bowl in the evening, he can have a third cup, but, if there is food in the bowl, no adding to it), only one treat a day, and no people food. Strict no people food orders. He has to get down to 100 lbs.

He has worms. He has the “a mosquito bit you” kind and the “you eat poop, don’t you?” kind.

When the Butcher went to pick up the medicine for the worms, they advised him to wrap the pill in cheese.

“Isn’t that a ‘people food’?” my smart-ass brother asked.