I Have Many Feelings

1. The Butcher’s vehicle broke down in Gallatin, so I had to get up before dawn to go get him. I am wired on coffee and exceptionally tired.

2. I got some out-of-left-field news yesterday, unexpected and good, but also, unexpected.

3. I’m reviewing edits on a story and I am a little startled by how angry I’m getting at the copyeditor. I don’t often have the chance to be copyedited except when K. does it. The thing I guess I’m realizing is that I trust K. implicitly. I don’t trust this person I don’t know, because I don’t know him/her (I think it’s a her, but I’m not sure). And the thing is that her/his edits are fine. This is not about his/her work. This is some weird thing about me being all “NNNOOOOO!!!” (with growling bear noises) and then having to step back and ask myself if this is truly about the editing suggestion or about me. 90% of it is this weird feeling of wounded defensiveness. If I had a therapist, I guess I’d talk it through. Since I don’t, I’ll just mention it on the internet.

4. My parents are here. I’m taking them to the Country Music Hall of Fame tomorrow.

5. On Friday, I have to take dog poop to the vet.

6. So, you know, mixed feelings.

2 thoughts on “I Have Many Feelings

  1. #3: yes. The first time I had a story go through edits, I was all meh, okay, whatever. Second time, THUNDER AND FIRE, followed by calm the hell down and accept them. But yes. Wounded defensiveness. Illogical, unwarranted, but there it is.

  2. Yes! That’s exactly it. “Wounded defensiveness.” And the copyeditor said really nice things about my writing and the story. But man, I felt it like my story was being unfairly maligned. Even though, logically, it was not.

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