I Hate Every Crocheted Thing

The picots and the picot join were a terrible joke. And I thought, well, I’ll just work on the centers and try to get a feel for how much yarn I’ll need for the whole thing and I fucked up every center I made. And they all have to be redone. It’s not a fuck-up with an easy fix.

I was so mad at myself I thought I might switch squares all together and do the flower instead, but holy shit, that’s also a terrible design. It’s hard to explain what the problem is without visuals, but it’s an elaborate flower, so it’s heavy, and it grows heavier on each round. Each round is attached to the next round with only eight stitches. So, ignoring the heavy petals of the flower for a second, your underlying structure is a series of progressively larger arcs. When you add the petals, the whole thing strives to take a loose, shaggy pyramid shape.

I believe all this would be fine if, beneath it all, there was a normal square you were anchoring the flower to–so that the eight stitches each round tied the flower together and attached it to a solid back. It’d still be heavy as fuck, but that solid backing would help hold everything together and where it belongs.

But no! The back of the flower is open and, when you get to the rounds you do that make it a square, they’re just those two or three outer rounds. The sample one I started looks really cool, but it was obvious, even before finishing it, that the structure looks fine flat (and thus the square looks fine in picture), but it was going to be a weird, saggy mess in an afghan–too much weight on not enough structure.

I then did a hexagon I thought would look cool, but it looked like a butt.

So, all that wasted yarn later, I’m back to the picot squares, but without the picots.

I have a whopping two done, which is how many I had mostly completely yesterday.

But I do think I have an idea for how to finish the story I’m working on, so I still believe you should have a hobby that lets your mind work on your writing problems.

My hobby is just an asshole at the moment.

One thought on “I Hate Every Crocheted Thing

  1. I feel this pain. I feel it with knitting, so I suspect yarn may be the ultimate culprit. (And shitty patterns.)

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