Nobody Likes Me. Everybody Hates Me. Guess I’ll Go Eat Worms.

Oh lord, yesterday. Let me sum it up like this. In Nashville, there’s a junkyard with a batshit mean dog guarding it. That dog has been there for years, bit a bunch of people, and it’s a menace. But the junkyard is safe.

So, the guy who ran the junkyard gave the dog to another local business–let’s say a coffee shop–where the people who had lived in the neighborhood for a million years recognized the dog, saw it was keeping the coffee shop safe, and were like “Okay, be careful. The dog’s in the coffee shop now.” But a bunch of people who either moved into the neighborhood recently or didn’t know about the junkyard dog somehow are shocked and alarmed to find out that there’s a dog in the coffee shop that’s mean as fuck.

And they’ve been yelling at me and other folks about why we’re not covering the “news” of the dog’s most recent bad behavior in the coffee shop. So, I tried to explain–the dog has been an asshole; that’s why he’s a good guard dog; his behavior is a known issue and, as of yet, people still believe the benefits of the dog outweigh the drawbacks.

I would almost go so far as to say that it would very rarely rise to “news” that the dog is a menace, since he’s doing what he’s known to do and what people want him to do.

I find it irritating that the dog is being used in this manner and I think the dog is dangerous. But I completely understand why people want the dog in the coffee shop. I might, in certain circumstances, find it comforting that the dog is in the coffee shop myself.

I’m not on the side of “Get the dog out of the coffee shop.” I’m just trying to explain to people who are like “Oh my god, why aren’t you covering the fact that the dog in the coffee shop nipped at someone last week?!” why I can’t get worked up enough about the dog’s behavior to be freshly outraged.

And once the “Get the dog out of the coffee shop” people figured that out?! Well, fuck my whole day. But that only happened after the dog’s supporters were pissed at me.

Anyway, even Satanists have sectarian pissing matches, it turns out. So, whatever.