This morning the dog went to the park, so I was on my own for walking. And I was trying to remember the last time I ran. I have no fucking idea. Possibly years. And since I was alone in the dark, I ran, like a little kid, just full out for as long as it felt fun (which, granted, was not very long) and then I did it again.

And since I was alone in the dark, I didn’t have to think about how slow I was or how stupid I looked. I just felt happy. And not “happy because my body can do this” or “happy because this is good for me” or “happy for some other reason that justifies and excuses my happiness.” Just happy.

And yet, when I sit here to tell you about it, I find it curious how overwhelming the urge to justify it is, to attach some reason to it other than that it seemed like it might be fun and silly and make me happy and it was those things and did that thing.

2 thoughts on “Run

  1. I know the feeling. I don’t run, though I did some when I was young. When I was broken a few years ago and couldn’t walk, I had the overwhelming desire to stand up and RUN – which was impossible at that point. I have done it a few times and it feels really good. It’s nice to know that I CAN do it if I want to or have to, though I hope I never have to. ;)

  2. Yes! I mean, if every we’re chased by a bear, everyone who is not me is in luck, because I will distract the bear with my getting caught and mauled and dying while you escape, but it was fun to know that I could do it. I kind of want to see if I can still skip next.

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