It kind of feels like a time when things are coming together. The Butcher getting married. Me doing that talk, meeting internet friends, etc. Some folks are figuring out that I don’t just write for the Scene, but have another job.
I don’t know. Maybe those things don’t all fit together or suggest a trend, but they feel like it to me.
I guess the thing I’m continually wrestling with remains the same. How do I enjoy good things without being paralyzed by the fear that good things are just the things life throws at you so you’ll let your guard down for the bad shit? How do I integrate my feelings of success and accomplishment into who I am without becoming an obnoxious egotistical jerk?
Like, I’m glad to not have these feelings all the time of “you secretly suck and no one will tell you”–and I thank the medication for that–but I don’t want to swing so far the other way into “I rule, you drool.”
But I am enjoying feeling like I’m doing okay. If this is how most people feel all the time, I see why they like it.