There’s Only So Much Poop in Your Dog’s Ear You Can Live With

On Friday, I met with my therapist, which went well, but still took a lot out of me. I’ve only seen her three times, but I now know to kind of expect that I will sleep a lot after it.

So, Saturday, I wake up at 7:30. I take Sonnyboy for our normal walk. He somehow manages to get so tangled up in his harness that he can’t walk–and remember, he got out of the house, so it was on right when we were in the garage and yet, by the time we got to the AT&T yard, he was a mess. So, I had to wrestle him out of his harness and try to get him back into it, which he “aided” by repeatedly sitting down in the most convoluted way. But eventually, I got it.

We got up to the road and he almost immediately rolled in poop. Not on his back, which would be gross enough, but all up in his head and his ears and down his front legs and I tried to drag him out of it, but I am not stronger than him and that poop was, apparently, awesome.

He smelled so bad. It was like a mixture of regular poop smell with like rotting raw beef. I shudder to even remember it.

Then he went full-steam after a bird and got tangled in some barbed wire. Not terribly. But then he was limping and I tried to get him to show me his paw and he was like “And now I’ll just lay down in the middle of the road! Please do not look at my paw, I am busy licking it.” But then he got up on his own and it seemed to be tender but not terrible.

But so here we are, coming down the home stretch and who is standing by the tree but the little old lady he terrorized the other week and her dog who he tried to force to play with him?! But she sees he’s kind of limping so we exchange greetings and she asks what’s wrong and, of course, I’m trying to hold him back from her dog and her tiny little dog is like “Son, I will eat your face off.” And I believed him.

So, I tell her the barbed wire story and just as you would hope from any grandma-looking type, she starts to coo over him and she clearly wants to come over and pet him and comfort him.

But I have to warn her off because he’s covered in poop.

So, so much for making a friend of an enemy yesterday.

We get home and I am just like, I can’t deal with the dog yet. Oh, right, also because I notice on our walk that he is riddled with fleas. I mean, just riddled. Like that motherfucker looked to be hosting the flea circus family reunion. And I’m like “You have a quadrillion dollar flea collar and I pet you all the time. Where did these come from?!”

So, it’s not just a matter of poopy-head. It’s also fleamaggedon.

I eat my breakfast. I go into the bathroom to get it set up for bathing him, because normally the trick is to have everything for Sonnyboy’s bath ready to go and then you have to cajole him into getting in the tub and it takes half your life.

And I’m supposed to meet S. for coffee at 10:15.

But I wasn’t even to the point of getting the dog shampoo opened when I first said, “How’s about a bath?” and Sonnyboy came in and deposited himself right in the bathtub. From out of nowhere! Or, you know, somewhere in the house, but not in the bathroom.

But he doesn’t like to have his head in the tub when he’s getting a bath and his head was where all of the poop was, so, dear reader, I just washed his head outside of the tub and said, “Fuck it, I’ll just towel up the floor.”

And a lot of fleas came off in the wash, though not as many as I’d feared.

But I am disgusting now, so I text S. to let her know I’m going to be a tiny bit late because of Walkpocalypse 2017 and I get in the shower myself.

Problem 1 settled. Walkpocalypse dealt with.

But what about Fleamaggedon? So, I got him a new collar. I got him two new dog beds and his two old dog beds went in the trash. I sprayed down the couch and the Butcher’s bed with flea spray. And though I had been using Frontline on the cats, I picked up some Advantix.

Reader, I defleaed that mean old orange cat by myself. And he is still pissed at me. He spent all morning hiding under my dresser making mean meows at me. He did come out for breakfast, of course, but he was snitty about it.

New kitty, of course, didn’t care. Except for all the fighting and the killing, I’ve never owned an easier cat.

I ended my day thinking, “Okay, problem solved.”

But, like Jason rising from Crystal Lake, I sat down to poop before going to bed (yes, that’s TMI, but it also brings the day full circle, so I’m leaving it) and there I am, stuck on the toilet, and something(s) starts biting my legs. The fleas from the bath, who got caught up in the hair and thrown in the trash can are out for revenge.

It sucked, but I laughed. And sprayed down the trash can.

5 thoughts on “There’s Only So Much Poop in Your Dog’s Ear You Can Live With

  1. Apparently it is my day to comment on your blog ;)

    Which collar are you using on the dog? I live in New England, but I am originally from north Florida and travel there to visit family. We started using the Seresto collar while in Florida (after one of my Ridgebacks got a case of fleas at my dad’s house) and it cleared up those fleas overnight. No exaggeration… put it on the dog before bed, woke up and no fleas. It’s also done a champion job at preventing ticks, which i worry about here in MA b/c Lyme.

    Amazon has pretty much universally had better prices than buying locally, in my experience; sometimes up to half off what the local pet stores charge.

  2. I’m also using Seresto, which is great, but I think I needed a new one in March and I forgot and thought May. The real problem is that nothing I’m using on the cats seems to be working. And so, even if the dog’s collar kills everything that gets on him, there are a lot of ambient fleas around.

  3. Frontline stopped working here in Texas several years ago. And now Advantix is getting iffy.Darn fleas and their ever evolving selves! I’m using Comfortis-even though I dislike the thought of edible(!) flea control-but it keeps the dog with flea allergies from licking/scratching herself until she looks like she has mange.
    And poop in the ear! that’s some mad skillz there!

  4. Frontline for dogs stopped working here years ago. But I’ve always had really good luck with Frontline for cats, until now. I’ve got the cats on Advantix, which seems to be working okay, but I’m still finding a lot of very slothful but not quite dead fleas and that concerns me.

    And poor dog. I think he was trying to get it all on the back of his head, not realizing that his ears would act like big scoops.

  5. We use Trifexis for our three dogs and it is wonderful. Comfortis is great, too, but Trifexis also has heart worm preventative, so it’s one pill and you’re done for the month. And it kills all fleas in 24 hours, and something like 90% in 4 hours.

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