Sorry I didn’t post anything here yesterday, I was scrambling to write stuff for paid gigs because I spent Sunday lollygagging around and hanging out with friends. It was marvelous.
I now see why the dog loves to gallivant (though spare a thought for him today as he is suffering from the confusion of having to have his leash put on in the house and walked a whole walk with no ability to run around the neighborhood like a yahoo).
At one stop, I was talking to an acquaintance about her awesome project which I love and she reached out with both hands and touched my belly. It was weird, but she did it in such a way that I’m not even one hundred percent sure she realized she was doing it. And she seemed not at all malicious.
It reminded me of the way that old ladies like to squeeze me. Which I also find weird but not entirely unpleasant. I guess the thing I find weird about it is that I’ve been told–as all women have, I’m sure–that fat bodies are gross and disgusting and, sure, maybe some people will seem not to mind, but they’re just being extra super good by being willing to overlook your massive flaw.
And yet, my experience is that a lot of people like it. And they like it like little kids reaching for candy in a bin in the store–where they know they shouldn’t touch, but the compulsion to touch is so great that their impulses outweigh their conscious brain.
And I feel like I should be clear that, in general, you should not touch people without permission and truly not touch fat people on their fat just out of the blue. Also, please never come up behind me and touch me for old PTSD reasons. But general rules and guidelines aside, in these very rare circumstances, which I still find very weird, it teaches me something I can’t quite put into words that I appreciate knowing.