It’s Okay to Have a Weeks Long Rolling Anxiety Attack, Right?

Somehow my ex-sister-in-law is out of jail, so she thought she’d go get my nephew and take him to Florida before returning to her home–to the extent she has one–with him. In violation of the custody changes my brother got made in the wake of her going to jail.

So that was fun. And by fun I mean, terrifying and stressful and aggravating.

She brought him back yesterday after my brother convinced her that the court order that says she can’t do that really does say she can’t do that. She told him that she felt like he had set her up to violate the court order by letting her take my nephew.

I guess he’s supposed to quit his job and stand guard at his house 24/7 and then fist fight her?

Like, how’s one dude supposed to stop a woman from showing up with no notice and picking up the almost adult kid she has brainwashed into believing that she’s being framed and that there are legal maneuvers her court-appointed attorney can use to get her off of those thirteen felony charges?

The problem with framing her or setting her up or whatever other paranoid choice of word she wants to use is that it, by definition, embroils you more in her madness. Unless you absolutely for sure knew that, by tangling yourself up in her life for this little bit, you could ensure she’d never bother you again, it’s not worth it. Just back away slowly and make sure to the best of your abilities that she doesn’t know where you are or how to contact you.

Also, for some reason, we’re keeping this from my parents. Which I both don’t understand and do understand. Like, on the one hand, this is stressful enough, why wouldn’t we get everyone on the same page and working together? On the other hand, it’s hard enough. Having to deal with my parents trying to analyze it and take over directing what should happen would be nightmarish.

So, my brother doesn’t want to tell them. I’m not telling them.

Frankly, I’m terrified for my brother and his family. I’m very worried about the level of brainwashed control she has over my nephew and I’m concerned that, for the rest of his life, he’s going to end up supporting her. I’m concerned that he might lash out at my sister-in-law or my niece as he deals with the reality that his mom is not being square with him about what’s going on. I’m deeply concerned that the reason she wants him back is that her Plan B is to blame some of her shit on him. I completely do believe she’d do that.

I’m also concerned that, as the reality of her situation sets in, she might feel pushed to act more desperately.

I thought all this nonsense would be enough to revoke her bond, too, but apparently not.

My brother made a police report, so he’d have it documented for court, but this all is still, supposedly, just a civil matter.

Anyway, I have all my triangles made. I’m just tucking tails now, which, oddly, is fine because I’m having trouble concentrating on anything else.

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2 thoughts on “It’s Okay to Have a Weeks Long Rolling Anxiety Attack, Right?

  1. I’m so sorry. It hurts so much to watch people you love being hurt and not be able to protect them. Keeping good thoughts for your nephew, that he will be able to make a good life for himself eventually, regardless of his terrible parent, even though no kid should have to deal with that.

  2. That’s terrifying. I’m so sorry.

    I agree with your concern about keeping this from your parents — it sets them up to be pulled in to some scheme of hers. It’s better that they know to keep far, far away.

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