Maybe I’ll Be Fast As You

Sometimes I worry that maybe all I do is sit around crocheting. After all, I just finished a mobile and I now have all the flowers done for the baby afghan I’ve been working on. But I also went to two parties this weekend and saw my nephew and walked the dog and went shopping.

I think I’m finding the time because I don’t watch TV anymore and I haven’t been reading much for pleasure lately. I keep wondering if I should cancel cable or at least scale back to the Law & Order only package (oh, would that there were such a package). But I also think that my interest in it might come back. I’ve been a TV watcher my whole life and I didn’t quit for reasons. I just lost interest.

Anyway, this flowery baby blanket. I had a pattern picked out and then as I started to work it up, I realized it was shit.

Here’s the thing about crochet flowers–at least 3-D ones. Each layer of the flower is actually two rounds. There’s a round that creates a lattice and then a round where you build your petal on that lattice. Over and over. But how you join the lattice means the world about how your flowers look in real life.

If you build your next round of lattice on the petal beneath it, your next petal is going to have a very noticeable gap between it and the petal below. (This isn’t always bad. Some designs utilize this tendency to beautiful effect.) It will also have a tendency to spread in weird ways. But, for a photo, you can fake it. You can scrunch everything up so that it looks like it’s sitting upright and together and beautiful. And you can’t always tell from just looking at the pattern if the designer has accounted for this tendency and so all is well or didn’t account for it and so is squishing everything together to make it look okay.

So, obviously, that was the problem with this first pattern.

But once I knew what I wanted, I went to my big book of problematic granny squares and flipped through for something similar, but okay. Of course, being my big book of problematic granny squares, the pattern had obvious problems–like the pattern was for a twelve-round square, but the picture with it clearly showed an eight round square. Or one of the lattice rounds repeatedly said to make a half-double crochet and then two chains, but then said I should have 8 chain-3 spaces when I was done, which I simply could not have, because I had been making those spaces with two chains, as directed. And I had to ignore pretty much all of the slip stitches it called for, because they were stupid.

But I’m now used to the ways the patterns in that book are fucked, so I was able to anticipate.

And anyway, here’s what I’ve got:

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