Today, Anyway

I had a long talk with my other brother and he kind of wants to be in charge of deciding what to do about Mom and Dad.

On the one hand, it’s going to be tough to let that happen because my aunts and uncles think he’s an incapable fuck-up.

Little do they know that, in this one regard, it is I who am the incapable fuck-up.

On the other hand, I absolutely do not want to have to manage this. I don’t think my other brother is a fuck-up. At least, he’s always had my back when I needed it. And, if he wants to do this for them, considering all they’ve done for him, shouldn’t he have the chance?

Here is the terrible thing, though. Even if he is an incapable fuck-up–which he’s not–I don’t care. He’s willing to move back to Illinois. He doesn’t see it as Hell. He wants to do this shit for them.

And I don’t.

So, even if I conceded that I would be “more capable,” whatever the fuck that means, why should that be the metric? Shouldn’t the person who wants to do it be the person who does it?

3 thoughts on “Today, Anyway

  1. Yes.

    You are a strong capable cherished woman that absolutely deserves every good thing. And this is a good thing. Good for you, good for your brother, good for your parents. I’m not telling you something you don’t already know, especially as I am a virtual stranger, but I can’t describe the feeling of relief and happiness when I read that first line. Not because you get to avoid any unhappiness or stress about your parents, but because this allows you to continue living the wonderful life you have worked hard to build, and having that as a base from which to deal with everything that comes. (I know those nightmares, I have those nightmares and the guilt that follows, and I don’t know that it ever goes away completely)

  2. And think how happy* your father will be to be right that your other brother would repay all his worry and help.

    *for definitions of “happy” that include continuing to complain about everything, of course.

  3. Another virtual stranger here who was happy to read this, for the reasons folks have already stated, but also? Because I know so many families where the caretaking falls on the daughters, just… because… that’s what happens. So to see a son volunteering to step up? That makes this even better. It speaks well of all of you.

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