Why Must I Leave Me Here All Alone?

I just, Jesus, where to even start?

My brother tried to cancel Thanksgiving. The Thanksgiving he instigated up at my parents’ house that we’re all going to. Where we were all supposed to force my parents to talk about how they should be moving closer to one of us and where we’d talk frankly about whether they could afford to.

I’m upset that he’s backing out of going. TO THE THING HE ARRANGED. But I’m livid and pained by the fact that he tried to make it seem like the rest of us shouldn’t bother to go.

He’s not going because they might gossip about him at work. First, they’re plumbers. Is that a hotbed of gossip? Second, how is “Dude went to his parents for Thanksgiving” any kind of bad gossip?

Also my dad is dying. How many more Thanksgivings are we going to get all together?

And my plan had been to go to Arizona and have Thanksgiving with the Butcher, but we all rearranged out lives to be in Illinois.

And in spite of all this, I’m sure I’ll be subjected to 900 rounds of “Your brother is so great.”

I’m just tired.

The Butcher is coming next weekend. I need to get the house in some vague shape.

I also want to enjoy my time with him without spending all of it complaining about our other brother.

2 thoughts on “Why Must I Leave Me Here All Alone?

  1. Holidays + family dysfunction + aging and difficult parents = argh. I’m so sorry. Your brother sounds…scared? Maybe he can’t face the idea of having that difficult, painful talk with the rest of you, and facing the idea that his parents will die someday, possibly soon. So he’s coming up with a weak excuse to get out of it. I’ve seen it happen in other families.

  2. I think that’s pretty likely, but, if that is the case, I wish he’d just say so. Like, maybe I’m weird, but I could one hundred percent handle “Fuck it, this is too hard. I can’t do it.” over “Oops, plumbers might gossip about me.” At least the first one is honest.

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