The thing I miss the most about the Butcher being around is having someone who just intrinsically understands me.
I was talking about how I now, apparently, have this reputation for being an extrovert and he was like “But don’t they know that’s just training?” And I don’t know if I’ve ever articulated it that way to myself.
I’ve been trained to be this way. Deeply trained. Effectively trained. It’s muscle memory–here you are in the world; do the things you’re supposed to do. Look like you’re enjoying it. Put everyone at ease. Entertain them.
But, except for the satisfaction I often get from doing that shit effectively, I don’t enjoy it.
I do it because I’ve been trained to do it and I have no idea what I’d do in social situations otherwise.