Continued Flowers

Half the rows are complete! I either need 18 or 28 hexagons to finish. I think 28, because I don’t want to have the top be a long row and the bottom be a short row. I think I want two long rows.

God, I love this so much.

I sent an email to S. last night telling her that, if she doesn’t hear from me that I have a therapist’s appointment scheduled by the time I get back from Phoenix I need her to force me to do it.

Things at work are really great. My job is kind of morphing into my dream job. I still cried last night for reasons I can’t really articulate.

I’m so angry. And I’m kind of angry that this is my life. Like, I feel this kind of outrage that my coworkers are lovely and I like the shit out of them. I’m super pissed that I’m supposed to now go do this stuff I love to do.

It makes me feel insane. Things I know, objectively, I should be excited about and delighted by instead make me feel mad and over-burdened.

Which, truly, is why I need to be back in therapy.

I mean, y’all, I sent S. an email asking her to help me get this done. She sent me back an email saying “Yes, I will do this for you. Here’s my plan for how to get it done” and my very first thought was “Hey, back off. You don’t tell me what to do.” I didn’t write that to her, because I caught that it was a nuts response. But now I’m snapping at help I asked for?

WTF?