There’s something about having the world go to shit as you feel like shit that is a little okay. Like, finally, the outside matches my insides. These feelings I have are appropriate to the situation.
Yesterday was the first day in months I felt like things were okay. I’m trying to cultivate that feeling and help it grow.
But, I admit, it’s hard. I worry a lot even when I’m feeling great. I worry when I’m feeling bad in order to feel safe about being able to anticipate more worse shit.
But, if I want to cultivate okayness, I have to stop making worry such a major part of what my brain does all day.