I Picked the Wrong Day to Be Out

Have you been outside?! It’s amazing. Why did I take yesterday off, when it was wet and raining and depressing?

Oh, right, because I had to be there for a load of dirt.

Did I tell you guys that the Butcher got the new Sim City? Yesterday, he said, “I’m glad my people don’t have churches. I’m fine with them worshiping me anywhere.” And then he laughed the most maniacal super-villain laugh I’ve ever heard out of a person in real life. I mean, genuinely. I’ve heard people do the super-villain laugh self-consciously, but this was the first time I’d ever heard “Mwah-ha ha ha ha” in the wild.

“You know God doesn’t build cities in real life, right?”

“Are you saying that I am greater than God?!” (He’s, of course, delighted by this.)

And then he laughed again.

I may have to change his name from The Butcher to The Blasphemer, because he hasn’t actually been a meat-cutter in years, but motherfucker is apparently taking up blasphemy as his new hobby.

Dad is going to be so proud. A fornicator, a blasphemer… and me, doing my best impersonation of a witch.

Poor Dad.