Oh, So That’s Why Alabama Outlawed Dildos

Those Alabama dildos apparently have a way of finding themselves up dead ministers’ butts.

Folks, people never cease to amaze me.  How does a man even get two wet suits on?

There’s a deeper point here, too, about how we keep hearing “Conservative Christians” prattle on about sin and our evil society and temptation and how we must all strive to be “Good Christians,” which apparently means hating the people who are openly doing the shit your pastor is doing in private, which makes them look like packs of roving idiots.

And I’d make it with glee except that I feel bad for this guy.

No, really, I do.

As far as kinks go, I’ll admit, this one is a little out there.  But there’s nothing inherently wrong with it.  Butts have nerves that feel good when stimulated.  Prostates feel good when massaged.  Being confined can be erotic.

And there’s nothing inherently wrong with wanting to take pleasure in your body in any of the ways that your body brings you pleasure.

That’s what makes me sad about this.  I’m not sad for him.  I mean, come on, he died doing what he enjoyed.

I’m sad for all the people he knew who couldn’t just hear about the circumstances of his death, laugh a little about it, and then shrug and get on with life.  I’m sad for them that they feel confused and ashamed, that they’re so cut off from feeling certain of the okayness of feeling pleasure in yourself that they immediately assume dude did something wrong, something of which we should never speak, but always conceive of as sinful and ugly.

That part’s just not true and I don’t know how you convince folks of that point.

In Which I Tease Slarti and Exador

How do you do the computer work you need to do with your big ole fat man fingers?

Not that I’m bragging or anything, but swapping out memory on a computer is so easy for me because I can get my hands in there and still see what I’m doing.

(Let’s not think about the fact that there are places that charge $80 an hour to do what I just did on three computers in ten minutes.  That ruins the fun for me.)

Next Time Maybe John Tanner Will Hang Latinos over Shark Pit Before Revealing His Plans to Them

Via Shakesville comes the story of the Chief of the Voting Section of the Civil Rights Division, U.S. Department of Justice, John Tanner, who feels that requiring voters to have a picture ID when appearing at the polls is nothing for non-white folks to worry about because younger people are more likely to have picture IDs than older people and since white people live longer than non-white people, the law is actually more burdensome to whites than it is to non-whites.

No, really.

You can paraphrase this story as “Don’t worry, non-whites!  You won’t live long enough for it to be a problem for you.”

Listen, Republicans, I get it.  I, too, love Dr. Evil and Mr. Burns.  But I’m begging you to stop electing people who appoint people to important government positions based solely on their ability to deliver information that sounds like the nefarious evil plot in some cheesy spy movie.

If you can’t do that–and Lord knows, this is more entertaining and disturbing than what’s on TV right now, for the most part, so I can see why you’re compelled to keep these folks in the public eye–could you at least lobby these folks to end all of their speeches with some kind of evil laughter?

A Pup Quiz, If You Will

While you normally see Scotties with black coats, they actually have a variety of coats, from black to gray to brindle to wheaton to almost white.  Knowing that, can you identify which of the following dogs are Scotties?

Okay, then, which of the following are pit bulls?

(Yes, that’s kind of a trick question, since every single one of those dogs is or has been considered a “pit bull” type dog within my recent memory.  I’m just curious how many people can recognize a pit bull when they see it, considering that ‘I know it when I see it’ seem to be the standard for whether a dog is one of those dangerous, nasty, nefarious, baby-killing pit bulls.)