A Post So Gross I Dare Only Make It On a Friday Night

Squeemish folks, be warned, after the jump, there is blood and a discussion of awesome (in the sense of causing me awe and fright) girly things.

Google’s Lawyer

So, the Professor took me to hear Google’s lawyer ostensibly talk about why we should all be okay with Google Books, but instead it really was more like “Watch me lick my balls and then cheer for me that I was able to lick my balls.”  Which I guess is probably what most of law school is like, but damn.

The publishers’ perspective on Google Books is as follows.  Yes, it is a good and cool idea to have all books (or as close to “all” as one can come) be searchable on the internet.  But those libraries did not have a right to grant Google permission to make those electronic copies and everyone knows it.  Google should have come first to the publishers.  End of story.

And then to go over time so that no one could ask questions.  Nice.  Real nice.

The Dog Barks at the Just and the Unjust Alike

Our favorite Republican spent the night last night and I’ve been quietly trying to let him sleep while still getting ready this morning, because I’m nice like that. He’s the kind of Republican that takes a kind of leisurely glee in being corrupt and vaguely racist and sexist and he’s often drunk. Here’s what he’s like. Say you’re like, “I wish we had cookies.” He’d throw a twenty at you and tell you to order pizza and one of Domino’s Oreo dessert thingies. Even though you don’t need or even want pizza. And he’s running around in a car with… shall we say… some licensing issues and he’s dating a prosecutor. Anyway, we still like to have him come by and visit.

Especially Mrs. Wigglebottom, who has been trying to be very quiet while also clearly trying to wake him up.

Also, I suspect he spent much of last night just sitting around our house quietly farting.

Which cracks me up.

Anyway, a couple of other conservatives have cracked me up this morning.

First, check out Andrew Sullivan’s witty reader: “Since Mr. Colbert is married, I think what Mr. Dawson is trying to say is, in order to fit into the Republican Presidential field properly; he needs to spend beyond his means and engage in an adulterous relationship.”

And then check out Coble:

Am I the only one amused at all of the various religious places that have Harvest Festivals in lieu of celebrating Halloween? I mean, from the perspective of a person who has spent the majority of her life in comparative religious study I think I can safely say that Harvest Celebrations have just as much of a pagan root as Halloween–perhaps more so. It’s sort of like saying “I won’t celebrate Blessed Virgin Day, but I’ll celebrate Beltaine.”

As for Republicans who crack me up, but not intentionally, Tiny Pasture (Don’t call him his immigrant name!) has a post about Bob Krumm wondering why so many people think there’s a recession when there’s not. I have an answer for Bob Krumm. Because a lot of people in this country are suffering and have been for a long time. Even during the supposed heyday of the Clinton administration when all was supposedly right in the world, we were looking around the midwest going “What the fuck? If times are so great, why does it suck so hard for us?” And, to reiterate the one brilliant insight I’ve had all fucking year, if things were going well for most people, you wouldn’t see such a backlash against illegal immigrants. If prosperity were reaching everyone and things were fine for everyone, the idea that illegal immigrants were stealing our jobs would have no traction.

Couple that with the steep rise in food costs and the price of gas and you start to get why folks are feeling like all is not right with the world.

Also, this is not a funny conservative, but it sure is funny. PortlyDyke over at Shakesville is talking about how men… some men… whine “unless a woman is chanting ‘Yes’ over and over for hours without interruption . . . . any woman can then claim withdrawal of consent.” to which PortlyDyke replies…

I almost don’t want to tell you, because it’s so hilarious, but also so “duh.”

Oh, okay, here she goes:

I’ve never really thought of it as a problem if my lover was chanting (or screaming) YES! YES! YES! “over and over for hours without interruption” during sex. (“Don’t Stop!” and “Keep doing whatever it is you’re doing!” also do not disturb me in the slightest.)

In fact, this situation has been so common for me that I had simply assumed that it was par for the course.